Posted by: noturreality | June 6, 2008

I’m Growing Grass

So I’ve got this beautiful California bungalow style house out in the middle of the Midwest.  I’ve mentioned before in a previous post that there is still an upstairs room that is unfinished, but it has been the yard that has received the most attention as of recent.  I guess the upstairs will have to wait.

And by the way….it’s not that kind of grass that I’m growing!  You silly little freaks.

This is the first summer in the new digs and prior to moving in the City ripped up a good chuck of the front yard (something like 6 years ago they did this).  I think it might have been a neighbor’s sewer issue and our yard got the worst of it.  Anyway, there is about 15 ft. x 20 ft. – between the street and the sidewalk – that is, more or less, mud.   

The area is extremely shaded so it would be difficult to grow grass there, or so it appears.  To be honest, I don’t think anyone has attempted to rebuild that area of the lawn.  I know the City hasn’t done a damn thing because half the curb is still missing.  I would have thought that the previous resident would have tried patching the yard back up, but I could be wrong.  Either they tried and failed or they just didn’t give a shit.

Well, I’ll be damned, I give a shit.

For the past two weeks I’ve taken the ‘mud pit’ as a personal challenge.  I’ve doctored up the front (west side) and south side of the house with mulch and lots and lots of plants and flowers.  (Jesus, I’ve really gone domestic – all domesticated and shit – When was the last time I went to Toys-R-Us and Chucky Cheese???  When was the last time I built a fort in the backyard or a command center under the neighbor’s porch???? To freak’n long ago, that’s how long.) Okay… so those areas look great.  But it’s the ‘mud pit’ that draws my attention away from those areas.  It’s an eye sore.  It looks like shit. It looks like poop.

So the challenge is on.  I threw some grass seed on it, barrowed a garden weasel to till up the land (fyi, the weasel is a pretty bad ass garden tool) and started watering….nothing, zero, zilch….besides the neighbor across the street wishing me good luck, so I decided to get mid-evil on its ass. 

I’m pretty sure I can’t over seed the ‘mud pit’. So I purchased a bunch more seed (I think it was like 3 pounds) and I just so happened to come across a bail of straw and some awesome thunder storms. 


Hell yes, I’m winning this mofo challenge.  I put about ¼ of the bail of straw over the seeded area, keeping the seed from blowing away, as well as keeping the birds from lunching on my seed, and keeping the moisture in.

This morning I noticed lovely little bright green blades of grass, sprouting up through the golden layers of straw, reaching to the heavens, all the while saying hello to me and laughing at my neighbor(s).

  (this is what it looked like before I got mid-evil)

soon to be my grass    (this is what my grass will look like after the mid-evil ass beating)

Ha.  I love it.


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