Posted by: noturreality | May 31, 2008

Conversations with my dog #3

I’ve got an English bulldog.  He is 11 months old.  That’s a picture of him at the top of your screen.  He looks much more ferocious in that picture, and the reason why I decided to go with that picture, than he does in person.   He is not as tuff as he comes off to be.

I’ve had a few posts on here about the conversations that we have had together.  The last conversation I posted was right before he went in to get neutered, or as I called it ‘snipped’.

He never woke up from his anesthesia.

Just kidding, that would have sucked. 

He is doing just fine, being balless.  The vet did a nice job.  Where his balls used to be, the sack remains and kinda resembles a very small package.  I think the vet did this to leave the bulldog some confidence as he grows through his developmental stages.   Maybe, to the bulldog, he believes he still has his dog balls.

Anyway, he goes back to the vet in 2 weeks to get the stitches out.

This was the conversation I had with him after his surgery.

Me:  Hey little buddy, how’s every thing going?

Dog:  Wow dude, this trip to the vet has been fucking crazy.  The son-of-a-bitch stuck me in the ass with something. Next thing I knew I was out. I feel like I have been sleeping for days, plus my sack hurts.  Don’t ever leave me in that fucking cage again with a vet with a needle.  Not cool.

Me:  Looks like you’re doing just fine.

Dog:  Well, I’ve been awake for the last 2 hours in that small ass cage.  I need to piss and take a crap.  I can do it here or you can take me outside.

Me:  Let’s go outside, looks like you need to use the bathroom.

Dog: Yee-haw, let’s go to the bathroom and get the fuck out of here.  Take my ass home.  I’m ready to go, damnit.  Plus, I haven’t ate in the last 12 hours, I’m hungry.

Me:  Sorry, buddy, no food till tomorrow.

Dog:  Whatever, I’m going to piss right here and I’m going to take a crap right there and then you’ll take me the fuck home and never leave me at this vet place again.  Getting snipped sucks – and I still don’t know what that means orther than have a sore ball sack.

Me:  That’s probably best at this point.  Let’s go home.


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