Posted by: noturreality | May 20, 2008

Conversations with My Dog

Conversations with my Dog


Me:  What do you want now?

Dog: Put the fucking New Yorker down and pop me some popcorn.

Me: What did you just say?

Dog: Yeah, dude, pop some popcorn.  You can watch the game, read whatever your reading and eat some popcorn.  And don’t forget to ‘accidently’ drop some popped fluffiness on the floor for me.  Get pop’n sucka.

Me: You’re a crazy ass dog, you go pop the popcorn.

Dog:  Please pop some popcorn, pretty, pretty, pretty please. pop, pop, pop the popcorn, please.

Me:  You need to go outside and relax.

Dog:  No dumbass, I just came from outside, I want some popcorn.

Me: How bout I pop you in the ass with this magazine.

Dog: How bout I hump your leg.

Me:  How bout I hump your leg.

Dog:  I just said that. 

Me: I know you are but what I am?

Dog:  Huh

Me: That’s what I thought.

Dog:  How bout I take a quick nap and when I wake up I’m gonna fuck with you some more.

Me:  It’s your world, pup, I would expect nothing less.  I’m just living in it.



  1. This is probably how most dogs think huh!! I know mine is constantly cussing me out..!

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