Okay, so I thought I was going to be all cool and stuff, being The Bat Hunter. It turns out, while I was out at a social event last week, the girlfriend dropped the bat with a pillow that evening. She took my flare, stole the show and took the podium out from under me by disposing the bat with one easy swing of the pillow.
Despite having very little thunder during my bat hunt expedition, guess what happened AGAIN last night? Damn right! Bat #2, doce zorro volador! Doce murcielago. Doce. Shit the bed. Shit the bed, again.
(Why did I call the bat a flying fox?)
I have a beautiful house, decorated very nice on the inside and out. The place has great feng shui, regardless of an occasional visit of a bat or two. The main floor is beauteous, as are two of the three upstairs rooms. So, I guess, there is an exception. There is one room upstairs that is not finished, which is probably messing with the upstairs feng shui and more or less throwing the entire house off the feng shui rocker. I have a sneaky suspicion that my flying guests are entering through the unfinished room, the room with the least feng shui.
This has to be the case. The bats must be entering through the unfinished, currently being used as a, huge walk-in-closet of a room. The walls are unfinished. The floors are unfinished. The entire room is unfinished. The house is unfinished. The feng shui is unfinished. The only thing that is finished is a good night’s rest.
I’m stuck. I absolutely hate the feeling of a flying animal in a confined room while I sleep. It creeps me out, even after shutting all the doors and closing the bat out, it makes it difficult to fall back asleep. Paranoia sets in. It’s a very uneasy, unfinished, feeling.
So what could possibly be the reason for visit number two? Does this creature’s visit have some sort of symbolic meaning?
Is the bat the Guardian of the Night? Does it represent longevity and double nature? Does peace and wisdom come with a visiting bat? Is the bat the totem of the shaman, teaching people to go into the night of inner darkness and emerge reborn while reminding them that eyes are only one way of seeing clearly?
Does this make any sense?
Does the bat bring good luck while bringing happiness and peace? Does it symbolize chaos and unhappiness? Does soul take the shape of a bat when one is asleep? Is someone trying to bewitch me?
Or is it just a flying bat looking for a way out of a house?
Do you understand my situation?